RTW or WTF?

It has come to my attention that we need to talk about a few things. Namely, Prada's Spring collection. I got a glimpse of it a while ago and found it a little "meh", although there were a few pieces that had I the body and the funds I would at least try on.

I'm loving the modern retro feel of these accordion pleats:

It's like your awesome rich aunt's Easter Sunday dress. Why make pastel eggs when you can just be one? Then your hands don't get all stained and vinegar-y smelling, too. Bonus!

I also think this look completely works, both on and off the runway:

Flattering and versatile. What more do you want? I'll take the handbag, too, while we're at it.

Miuccia also showed a few romper/bathing suit looks (I'm not going to lie, I'm really not sure if they are bathing suits or just fancy-arse onesies), and I especially adored this little lady:

Photos from NYMag

Beautiful! I've always loved grey and yellow together, and the combo is especially stunning here, even if I have no idea how one wears that in daily life.

So then...I took a closer look at the whole feet situation going on, and did a double take. A bad one. Because there is a WHOLE lot of WTF happening.

I hope you aren't eating while reading this. Be warned.

Behold, the Jewel-Toe Flame Sandal:

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The Rose-Toe Flame Sandal:

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Oh, you say wanted understated? How about this lovely pump with a TAILPIPE ON IT?

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That revs my engine in all the wrong ways.

Lastly, and the (arguably) most heinous, the Flame Wedge Sandal:

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What the heck is going on here?? I just keep thinking of Elle Woods in Legally Blonde saying, "I'm sorry. I just hallucinated. What?" It's like they let Jesse James and Kat Von D loose with a box of Crayolas and some quality ecstasy, and I do NOT support that.